moonlitknight | IC Inbox for thefarshore

[ Nothing to it but to do it. ]

I want to become your shinki.

[ .... ]

[ His shinki? ]

[ And then, the whole of it, finally dawns on him.

Crap. How to approach this delicately. ]

Edited 2017-09-03 04:00 (UTC)

You don't have to do that.

I'm not charging room and board here.

[ Because why else would he ask him? ]

Edited 2017-09-03 03:43 (UTC)

That's not why I'm asking.

I've wanted to be your shinki. For awhile now. But then you fell asleep, so I was unable to ask then. I planned to ask when you woke up.

...But then you forgot about me.

...I understand, that due to this you cannot understand my full intent... or all my reasoning..

[ He stood up a little straighter. ]

But this is what I want.

I want you, Zero, to become my god.

Edited 2017-09-03 03:56 (UTC)

[ He was serious.... And by the sound of it, he'd thought about it for a while. But... he doesn't understand. He's missing something. Something important. Something he should know. At least... it feels like it. ]

......

[ His god.... ]

Edited 2017-09-03 04:07 (UTC)

Why?

[ What did it matter if it was him or someone else. He didn't even know him. Whatever had passed between them before... it wasn't the same now. He'd honor any promises he'd made. He wasn't the type who could brush something like that aside, but this...? ]

Why do you want me to be your god?

[ Of course the other deserved to know. Deserved an answer, especially when he didn't remember anything. Itachi was silent for a moment as he tried to gather his thoughts. It wasn't as though he didn't know--no. He knew full and well why. But having to tell Zero his feelings... ]

[ He remembered the faces Sasuke made. The other had trouble talking about his feelings too. And then... he remembered Zero, when they were the same... when he was also a shinki. And then... what had happened to him... and he felt his feet grow cold. ]

[ There were almost too many emotions, and circumstances, and feelings... but somehow he had to put it in a way that made sense... that wasn't him just rambling on until it all fizzled out into worthless jibberish. ]

[ But there was one thing that held true-- more important than all those other things. ]

I don't want to lose you a third time.

A shinki can lose themselves on their own path. It happened to you... and I couldn't do anything to help.

And then even when you returned as a god, I lost you again.

But this time--this time I will help. This time I will be beside you... I lost you. I lost Sasuke. And I fear that if I do not tie myself to my convictions, that I will lose myself instead.

And of all of the gods that walk the Far Shore, you are the one I trust with my soul, even if you don't remember me.

[ He's not quite sure what to make of it. A third time? Is this what he meant when they first met? He shakes his head to focus on the here and now and not on speculation of the past. ]

Edited 2017-09-03 05:02 (UTC)

[ He breathes out slowly. He was confused, but there was one thing he did know for a fact. ]

Edited 2017-09-03 05:02 (UTC)

You have it wrong.

[ He looks at him. ]

It's our job to protect you, not the other way around.

It might be your job, but this is my desire. I care for you. You're not a job, like I am.

You are the person I care for the most. I am merely doing what I feel is right. What I want.

And I want to be your shinki. [ He stated it, again, because he wanted to make sure Zero remembered what this was all about. ] But in the end, it's up to you. I can't force you to do anything.

[ The words resound inside him, rooting him in place. ]

You're not a job.

[ Is that what he thought? ]

Shinki's aren't tools to me. They're people. Far better than the gods chosen to lead them.

[ And after a moment. ]

If you know what you want, then take it.

[ He extends a hand out to him, palm up. ]

[ For a moment, Itachi gazed towards Zero's hand with a vapid expression. He didn't realize his breath had hitched. This was it. Did this mean... he said 'yes'? Or rather... he could do what he wanted? ]

[ For a moment, he wondered if he was a burden to the other... but he pushed those thoughts away. No... this was a good moment. One that made him feel... ]

[ Like he had purpose again. ]

[ He could hear his heart thumping in his ears. But Itachi lifted his hand. There was hesitation at first--not because he was having second thoughts... but he just couldn't believe it was real. ]

[ If you know what you want, and Itachi's hand finally reached out. "Then take it." ]

[ He rested his hand in Zero's palm, fingers curling to lock Zero's own with his. There was a sudden stir in the air. He couldn't help but close his eyes. He knew what was going to happen, something he wished he knew himself. His past. ]

[ There was instantly a shower of blood everywhere. A traditional looking home in the midst of war. A young boy was whipping through the onslaught of people with weapons... but he was faster, stronger, even with such a small body. One by one they fell to his sword. His red eyes glowed with intensity. ]

[ This is for him. I will live on as the villain... I will be hated... but it's all for him. ]

[ And when the bodies all fell and the small complex went silent, he found him. A little boy curled up in fear and terror, sobbing--asking his older brother why he had done this. And Itachi's young vice rang out. ]

Cling to your life, little brother. Hate me... hate me, and you shall grow stronger... and we'll meet again. [ You don't understand, little brother. I'd die for you. I've killed... all for you. To protect you from this cruel world of ours. ]

[ And he fled into the night. ]

[ Again--more blood. ]

[ This time it was in the palms of Itachi's hands. He was coughing, uncontrollably, crying, inconsolable. He was alone. That was okay. ]

[ He lurched--another cough and blood spilled onto the wooden floor of the bathroom. ]

[ They call it consumption.. what is happening to me...? I can't die now. I've promised my life to Sasuke. My dear brother... ]

[ There was another painful cough. On the counter were bottle upon bottle of medication. He picked them all--a blue pill here, three white pills, one red-- ]

[ He swallowed them. Anything to stop the blood. Anything to stop the pain. ]

[ He was in a lot of pain. His clothes were torn. Blood covered his entire body. He wasn't sure... if he'd be able to walk, but... ]

[ An older Sasuke was pinned against a rock, with the same terrified expression he had as a child, unable to move. Itachi moved forward slowly, in an attempt to reach him. ]

[ Sasuke... Sasuke... I'm coming... ]

[ Itachi made it in front of Sasuke. He paused... reaching up... and poked him with two fingers on the forehead... like he did when they were children. ]

[ Sasuke... I was the villain. Even as a pacifist... I brought violence upon the world. I hated fighting. I dreamed of a world of peace. Of Heiwa. But... as your older brother... I am happy to cast my life aside for you. Only you. I love you... more than anyone in the world. ]

[ I trust you... with my soul. ]

[ Those were the words he wanted to say... but instead.. his vision blurred, bloody and dizzy, and everything was turning black, black... darker... ]

[ ...Goodbye, little brother. ]

[ And he finally found peace. ]

[ That was it. He died that day... that fateful day, the one he had barely kept himself alive for... all for the sake of his brother. ]

[ Itachi opened his eyes. He felt as if he had just awoken from a deep sleep... but there had been no dreams, just the solid feeling of Zero's hand. ]

[ His hand curls around his in acceptance. Then, his vision blurs. Blood mars the street as a boy cuts down a crowd of women and children before the scene changes and Zero is standing in front of a frightened boy who looks all too familiar. Cling to your life, little brother. His mouth parts as the scene unfolds it's final blow leaving him with little conscious thought of what just happened before an onslaught of memories begin to pour in.

Consumption.

Tears fill with regret and drown in pills. The scene plays out too eerily close to the nightmares of his childhood. The ones that left him clinging to his brother at night, all too aware of the concoction of drugs that kept him alive. But this isn't his brother, the room unfamiliar and the man.... Zero opens his mouth but no sound emerges. He reaches forward, but he's transported yet again but this time to the end.

The final memory plays out much slower than the rest but cuts the deepest. Having buried his own brother, it's difficult to watch it play out again. He staggers. The scene blurs making him dizzy and slowly everything begins to fade. Darkness engulfs the mind, the heart, and the soul departs from the body pulled into oblivion. And suddenly Zero is back in the present, still holding onto Itachi and.... ]

Edited 2017-10-06 22:30 (UTC)

[ He blinks, the memories easing their way down into his subconscious, carving a niche inside him before settling in for the long night. ]

.......

[ This time when he opens his mouth, it's to release a shaky breath as he stares back at Itachi, feeling the intrusion all the more starkly yet it doesn't feel... bad. Odd maybe which has him thinking... is this then... what it means to have a shinki? ]

Edited 2017-10-06 22:34 (UTC)

[ And suddenly, a ritual thrums at the back of his mind bringing forth a bounty of knowledge long lost to him yet he recognizes it instinctively like an old Hunter spell. He raises two fingers, index and middle, and power begins to glow at their tips emitting a soft blue light. ]

Edited 2017-10-06 22:39 (UTC)

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